Breakfast:  None
Lunch:  salad w/ cucumbers, mozzarella cheese stick, olives, chicken breast that was leftover (it has some shake and bake on it), ranch dressing
Liquids:  20 oz diet coke, 20 oz water
Nutritionals:  None
Exercise:  None

Well hi everyone,

I am climbing out of the pit of binge and despair.  Pretty dramatic, huh? 

I have been bingeing for about 2 months and I've gained about 20 lbs.

I figure it all started on June 15th when my daughter had her graduation from middle school.  I got "low carb" ice cream on the way home and that was the end of it.

Really, I've been struggling since I started my new job.  I guess I knew deep down that was going to happen.  I can control the binge eating as long as I am leading a life with very little challenges.  I have a deep-rooted history of feeling "not enough" so now that I'm back at work all those old feeling come back because you are learning new things.  Also, it requires that you balance work and home life, which I've always sucked at. 

So you always feel like you don't do things right.  And then you eat to squish down those uncomfortable feelings.

My work clothes are getting tight.  I'm not happy eating so I'm deciding to try to use my tools that I've learned over the last years and deal with my emotions.  I was in a women's group for several years and we learned how to deal with emotions so I think I have the tools.  I just have to be willing to feel the feelings.  Recognize the feelings and let them pass.

Thank you for all of your nice tags and for thinking of me.  I have thought of all of you, too, but I have been hiding.
Shelly

Breakfast:  2 scrambled eggs (2g)
Lunch:  salad w/ hamburger, egg, cheese, olives, cucumber (6g)
Dinner:
Snack:
Total carbs:
Exercise:
Nutritionals:  Magnesium (400mg), Calcium (1200 mg), Vitamin C (1000mg), Multi-vitamin, Michael's Glucose Metabolism Factors (3x / day)

Hi everyone,

Well, it's been a crappy 2 weeks of eating - really just the weekends.  This morning I weighed 263.  I'm not really sure how much of it is real vs. water vs. TOM weight.  It doesn't matter though, does it?

263 is still 50 lbs lost.  So I don't have to take away my award. 

I am back on strict induction and writing down my food.  Last night I really struggled with binge eating but I read some inspirational passages from my Food for Thought book and it really helped.  The number one thing that helped me was "No matter how confused or how bad you are feeling if you stick to your abstinence (meaning no bingeing) that will get you through."  So I just thought about that - no matter how crappy I was feeling the only thing that mattered was not binge eating.  I just focused on that.

OK - I have to work now.  My husband's car died on Monday so I am working weirdo hours because we are shuffling our daughter back and forth to rowing camp.

I found out that the weirdo rashes on me are eczema, not allergic reactions.  Although, allergies can make eczema worse.  My allergies have been really bad this year.

Have a great day everyone.  I need to get a grip.
ny_shelly

Hi everyone,

I just had a big weekend binge.  It started on Friday when I thought I would eat a few slices of pizza without the crust.  It ended around 11 PM last night when I ate raisin bran and 4 slices of toast.

I got rid of (i.e. ATE) the supposively "low carb" ice cream that I think was partially to blame for all of this.  Sugar Alcohols are bad news in general.  This ice cream had 3 g of real sugar in each serving as well.

So I have to start induction over again.  I'll be sticking to eggs, veggies, meat, and cheese for the next week. 

I've decided to exercise tonight.  30 minutes on the treadmill, no excuses.

I'm not changing my weight because even though it averaged out to 254, I don't think I should count it considering I weigh 258 today.  I think it will take me a week to get back to 254 and another week to get to 252.  Then I'll be on track to try for Midville (250) again.  Maybe I'll get there a week after the 4th of July.

ny_shelly